i never thought i’d write the words “deeply evil carpet” but. seriously. what a deeply evil carpet that is.
And what you should do is to put this over an actual trap, like a hole in the floor so people will be like “Oh ha ha ha that’s soooo funny, it’s a rug!” And then fall through it.
are you satan
accidentallymelted said: Leverage OT3 for the meme?
which one hogs the blanket
Hardison. But only because Parker HATES blankets unless they’re in forts, and Eliot tends to kick the blankets off because they sometimes trigger nightmares if they tangle around his legs.
which one cuts the other’s hair
Eliot will cut Hardison’s hair—he says it’s the stillest Hardison has ever been, no technology involved, just Eliot gently moving Hardison’s head to the gentle buzz of the razor. Parker cuts her own hair. Eliot has a secret professional hair stylist he sees regularly and it’s very very secret goddamn it Hardison
which one makes coffee for the other every morning
Eliot, because Parker will drink terrible fake coffee if you let her and Hardison gets his caffeine from soda.
which one picks up the pizza
Parker, because as much as Eliot has ~feelings~ about food, Parker has ~feelings~ about pizza. She doesn’t use words like mouthfeel and she doesn’t give a shit about what’s in the sauce, but she has tracked down The Best Pizza Guy in every city they’ve worked in.
which one likes their music on full volume
Hardison. There have been too many times where Eliot has walked in on Hardison dancing in his underwear to “Friday I’m In Love” (so far no one has asked why he hasn’t started knocking on the door when he hears that song, if it bugs him so much (it doesn’t bug him. but sometimes he feels like if he doesn’t set boundaries these two will ping out of here like the walls don’t exist))
which one complains about the crumbs on the bed
Eliot. ALWAYS. Hardison swears left right and center that it isn’t him. (It’s Parker. She eats ramen noodles raw.)
which one is ticklish
Hardison: all over. Parker: only on the insides of her elbows. Eliot: on his sides, but only when he’s relaxed enough for his body to realize it’s tickling and not an attack. So Parker and Hardison are the only ones who know, and they use this knowledge veeeeery sparingly.
which one sings and which one plays the music
Hardison can’t carry a tune in a bucket, though he tries, bless him. Everyone knows Eliot has a GOOOORGEOUS voice, but very few people know that he’s giving Parker lessons. She has a beautiful, clear voice when she concentrates. Sometimes when they’re falling asleep Eliot will sing a song and she harmonizes like it’s breathing.
which one proposes
Embarrassingly, both Parker and Hardison propose to Eliot (and each other) on the same day. Eliot had nooooo idea this was coming, and insists they get a redo so he can propose to them too. Hardison immediately chokes up because that means Eliot’s going to say yes, and Parker panics because Hardison is crying, and it’s basically one big disaster.
Later that night, Eliot bakes them a tiny cake and cuts it into thirds. Each piece of the cake has a ring in it. Hardison cries again but at least this time there is cake.